When we hurt someone, and “I am sorry” is not enough
Have you ever offended the people who are somehow important for you? What did you do to get forgiveness?
I would like to share with you one of my stories. I offended one of the very important persons for me. And he didn´t give me any chance to ask for apologize. No one tiny chance. No answers to calls. No answers to massages…nothing of that. And I was really hurt with my guiltiness.
What I did is I wrote a blog. The first blog in my life. And sent a link. Expressing my thoughts and asking for mercy. I know there can be lot of critics now, but the end justified the means.
Here is what I wrote.
In the middle of an intense moment, we all occasionally say or do something that, depending upon our mood, hurts others either intentionally or accidentally.
Then, when we come to our senses, we realize an apology is in order for the pain we caused.
And not just any old apology.
Since we’re sorry, we want to offer an apology that will let the person we hurt know how much we regret our words or actions — an apology that moves us past the situation into greener pastures where the offended person trusts us, our motives, and our words again.
People who are hurt tend to think irrationally, and that’s due to anger. In the same way that anger clouded our discernment when we said or did the thing that got us into this situation, anger can cloud angry people’s ability to forgive.
While we know we should apologize, it’s not always easy. Doing so opens us up to the possibility of being confronted with anger and resentment by the offended person(s).
And it’s not always easy for them to accept our apology. They can wonder whether it’s the truth — perhaps the words we’re apologizing for are still our true feelings.
When we apologize to people from our heart — and mean it — we hope they’ll decide with their mind to accept our request.
Not because it’s easy to forgive and forget, not because we necessarily deserve it, but because they’ve intentionally decided to forgive us.
I hope my sincere apology will be accepted with the intention of restoring the friendship. Please, accept the handwritten note as well to see how deep I have been punished with the silence.
Dear friends, if you have that kind of experience in asking for forgiveness, please, share, it might help someone. Thank you.